yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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