I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
