know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
