Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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