Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
