Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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