Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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