he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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