Screwed.edu
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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