on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
