Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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