i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
