cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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