I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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