Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
