you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We're too hungover to prance.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
