Soap is not a condiment
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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