Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
