At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
