just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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