I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
