If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
