hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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