...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
