The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
