u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
