i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
