just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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