Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
