I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
