Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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