the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
