Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
