I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
