Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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