I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
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