he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
