At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
