I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
