I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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