they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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