I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize