Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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