I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
