Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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