i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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