He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
