At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
