The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
