I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
