I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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