I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
