i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
