yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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