How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
