I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize