Umm I'm too high to move.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
