You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
