But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
