I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i've created a new STD.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
