i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
