I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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