How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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