She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
