Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
