Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
