ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
