K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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