Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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