so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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