just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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