She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize