Can i not drive my cunt home
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
