I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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