Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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