If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
