why didn't you poke me back
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize