And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
